A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the White House, fine political humor from the Sierra Club

Looking for the latest fashionable slang around Capitol Hill this fall? Like Clear Pepsi and the Hampster Dance, Neo-Latin phrases are taking Washington by storm.

Governor Mike Leavitt, President Bush's new nominee for EPA Administrator, just can't stop talking about Enlibra, his catch-all environmental philosophy. Governor Leavitt uses the phrase to mean something like "moving toward balance," but our Latin scholars report that it actually means "I have scales."

Anticipating, that Leavitt's Latin flavor may spark a linguistic trend around the White House, here's are several other Latin expressions which should catch on.

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Enronia - Vice President Cheney's term for the force of nature that prevents non-corporate stakeholders from participating in the formulation of our nation's energy policy.

Magnum Bogus - A term used to describe wacky names for Bush administration environmental policies, like the "Clear Skies Initiative" which actually lets polluters pollute more. Often used in conjunction with "maximum hubris."

Quid Pro Rove - Just the right expression to describe when the political arm of the White House pressures one of its agencies to do industry friends a favor.

VeSUVius - EPA's new unit of measurement for the enormous volume of airborne pollutants emitted by a single Hummer. Carpe Mercurium - Literally, "there's mercury in my carp." Expect this phrase to be used a lot now that the Bush administration proposes allowing 3x more mercury pollution from power plants than the current law allows.

Ouble-de Eak-spe - From the "pig" dialect of Latin. Refers to the ancient art of using language to mask real intentions. See "compassionate conservatism."

Caveat spiror - "Let the breather beware." The Bush Administration's free-market substitute for the outmoded pollution control requirements of the Clean Air Act.

Singularia Arcticum- The uncanny ability to see drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge as the solution to any problem.

Senioritis - A condition which causes administration officials to discount the value of senior citizens when conducting cost-benefit analyses of public health rules.

Scientia Non Grata - "Unwelcome science" seems to be popping up all over the place in the Bush administration, whether it's hazardous air reports from Ground Zero or a decade of international global warming data. Just use this handy phrase around the White House and annoying facts will just disappear.

Hostes alienigeni me abducxerunt. Qui annus est?- Translation: "I was kidnapped by aliens. What year is it?" If any of the Bush administration's environmental policies make you feel like you are in some kind of bizarre time warp, this phrase works great in a pinch.

For more information, visit: http://www.sierraclub.org/scoop/leavitt/index.asp